Three years ago after giving birth to my beautiful little angel I decided to go back to school. I wanted to do this to be able to stand on my own two feet and support myself and Sky without help. I wanted independence - something I have not always been good at. Well I am almost done with my associate's. I never realized how much time it would take to go to school - as far as how much time I would actually spend on campus. I am at the point now where basically all I have left are a couple Algebra classes and classes that have a lab with them. I am kicking myself in the butt for not doing these classes before - when I didn't have a full-time job. It seems impossible to work full-time and finish. I am not scared of it being hard or being tired. I am scared of not being able to see my lil family. Especially Skyler who would not understand why I am not there. My options are to work all day and go to school from 5pm-10pm two days a week and do homework and study on the other nights or quit either my job or school. Quitting my job is basically not an option due to finance's. So what do I do? I have lost sleep over this and have been pretty stressed about it.
All I ever wanted to do growing up was be a "homemaker." Why can't I win the lottery, stay at home and finish school as I can??? Wouldn't that make life so much better! lol
Life is good though....I am so thankful for all I have been blessed with. Shannon is such an amazing guy and I can't wait to be his wife. Skyler is growing like a weed and full of life and personality. Kayden is so sweet and maturing so fast into a bright and pleasant young lady. I just wish I could get all this figured out. I feel like I am in a ditch with no way out watching "life" move on without me.
That's all I got for now...just needed to vent and get that off my chest.
:o)
BT
Brynn you are a great mommy and wife and a wondeful friend!! I say follow your heart and know that school won't last forever if you choose to finish it. I think with all the hard work you have put into it you will regret not finishing it. But I also understand where you are coming from on the family aspect. It's hard to do but I think it will only make you stronger in the end. I love you and support you no matter what!!!
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