PROCEED WITH CAUTION - VENTING ALERT! I am beyond overwhelmed with my life right now. I am so sick of school...well not even school - sick of going to school, working and trying to cook dinner, keep a clean house and everything else that comes with working full time, going to school and being a wife and mother.
There are days - LIKE TODAY - where I want to crawl under a rock and just set in silence for as long AS I WANT...but that is not an option because the world continues to turn - thank god for that. I just dropped one of my classes because I sat at my computer trying to figure out the first of 30 lessons due at midnight tonight and after an hour of trying to figure something out that normally I could have figured out in five minutes, I gave up. I am so tired and I can not consentrant on anything. Sky had to go to bed at 6pm tonight after I had to leave the store (cart in the aisle and all) because she just would not listen and she did not understand what NO meant. I feel like I am turning into a mother that I never wanted to be. Even though I know I am not - I am just trying to make life easier in the long run but IT SUCKS! Why is it when we have to get mad at our children we feel like they will no longer like/love us????? Atleast that is how I feel. I try to be fun and loving at all times and when I get mad and have to get on to Sky (happens daily with Sky / slash partial hearing three year old) or Kayden it makes me feel like a MONSTER! I hate this feeling...
Once again I am SOOOO sick of school! I love what I do and want to go to school something related to my job but I know that will take ten years at this point! No one seems to understand that I can't do this anymore....when I started off on this college education BS it was with the goal of not having to work full time - NOW I AM STUCK at a job where I make WAY less than I should and get to go to work everyday for basically free. Stuck and pissed! I can't do this anymore....I just can't. Something has got to give....
There are about 5 other pretty major things going on in my life right now besides the above so wish me and my sanity luck - we will need it! Oh and have I told you - I HATE hot weather with a passion! Bring on winter before this fireball goes up in flames!
